Please don’t take it personally when sometimes I don’t want to talk.
Please don’t think it is anything you’ve said or anything you’ve done that has left me not wanting to go out.
Please don’t be upset or angry when I cancel our plans. It is hard for me, too.
When I am a better version of myself, I love to socialise. My friends all know how much I laugh and how much I love to talk. They will also tell you that when I have the Black Dog in tow, I’m not me.
I’m fortunate enough to be in a pretty good place at the moment. I feel like I can take on the world. I feel like I just want to be out living it up with all my friends at the weekends and joking around, it feels great!
I really do love spending time with you, I love that we make these plans… sometimes I just can’t face it.
I know you are there for me and I know that it’s without judgement, but I do still feel bad if I can’t do something. I feel defeated and I feel guilty.
Just know that it might take one day, it might take one month, but I will be back. I’ll be back with a smile and I’ll make it up to you, I promise.
It is curious to see things from this high up when just a matter of days ago I was at the bottom. Friends play a big part in my recovery. Having a cup of tea and a natter always goes some way to help me. Having someone to pass me a tissue and tell me my mascara is running will always be the best kind of therapy for me. A hug from a friend in that moment can work miracles.
I was afraid to reach out and come clean with my friends for a long time and unfortunately resulted in a lot of friendships ending. I guess they took it personally.
It is so important to speak out and to be truthful about what you are going through. That doesn’t necessarily mean details, but having someone understand your situation will help them and you.
Knowing you can be yourself whether you are on your own or with the Black Dog is a real comfort.
There will always be a listening ear and a box of tissues for you.
There will always be a hug waiting for you.
Stay with me here.